In Between Worlds

So I am down with something. My GP said it was the flu. It feels like a massive drainage of all my energies and leaving behind a ton of lead.

I missed two days of work, damn it. My pocket sure felt the impact. No love for flexi-adjunct teachers who want to go back to the service, but are penalized for things like... motherhood.

You can see I am grumpy.

Rainy day here. Good day to sleep in. Bronchitis slowly going away (but still coughing up lime-green phlegm - ugh, gross, I know...). D let me to sleep in.

Found myself going to an interview to a local junior college (high school for you guys in US). I will be teaching again for a term. Right now, we are going through paperwork and approvals. So, yes, I have a job.

An email conversation with a friend reminds me that I need to come up with a marketing plan for my book release. Wait, I got it written down somewhere... *rummages through her notes* Marketing is always the hardest...

Still working on My novella signal boost. Added social media aids.

***

Still feeling vulnerable. I want to curl up under the blankets and hide. But of course, I can't. I have to be wife, mother and daughter.

I have to be strong.

Vertigo and headache.

I have to talk to my specialist now.

Seriously, it's affecting work. You know, the work where I have to go teach.

And CFS - that too.

The luxury of working as a full-time writer eludes me.

Happy 4th of July to my American folks and a belated Canada Day to my Canadian peeps.

***

Still feeling fatigued. Slept for three hours (for a nap!). My folks let me. I think they knew I was that tired. Give me a month or two to get myself back on track.

Bought a pretty blouse and a load of yummy snacks.

Dot is now walking a lot more. I have her picture as my desktop wallpaper.

***

My grandmother is not doing well. I am feeling... uneasy.

Well, good news on the publishing front: I signed a contract to have "The Sound Of Breaking Glass" translated into Hebrew. And a story is accepted by MBRANE-SF. ;)

Will be quiet during the weekend.

So, according to the doctor, it's not the Thorian Death Plague. It's... stomach flu. Well, that explains why I was visiting the throne room frequently.

Double-whammy: my period came, compounding the exhaustion.

But I remember the good things.

... That my girls are gorgeous, smart and feisty.
... That my family is with me.
... That I need to remember my dreams: wolves, journeying and the full moon.
... That I have begun the pre-edits, the dreaded and needed 'search-and-destroy' passive/redundant words/verbs.

Friday is Vesak Day.

Hit by the flu truck. Awfully quick onset: body aches, chills and sore back. Fever arrived pretty much at the same time. One thing about me: when I fall sick, I fall really sick.

Will have to put the pre-edits on hold.

I confess. I cried like crazy yesterday. The news that I didn't get the job hit me pretty hard. Now, I am still weepy. Restless, resentful, a riot.

What's about Singapore and having to get a job? Is the all mighty dollar the Mammon of the new age now? My parents ragging at me to get a job isn't helping my mood.

So, out went a few resumes.

I read something by Guy Hasson about foreign authors versus American/UK authors on the World SF blog. We 'foreign' authors do not have the cushy time to write. Most of us juggle other things besides writing. We wish we have the luxury to write. But hey, I am in Singapore. Writing is considered 'frivolous', a past-time.

Followed Cub to the zoo as a parent volunteer - and the heavens rumbled and thundered. We didn't visit the zoo at the end. But the girls had fun, even though they were a little disappointed. Cub was so excited about the zoo visit, especially when Mommy was the parent volunteer for her class. The teachers took extra precautions, because of lightning (the area where the zoo is situated is well-known for lightning strikes). At the moment, she's happily playing her Wii: a cooking game.

I liked watching Cub interacting with her classmates. I could see that she is coping well in school and has made friends. She has her group of friends whom she hang out with. She is eloquent and sociable, mingling well with her peers.

Last night, I attended the Straits Times Forum Dialogue session. Interesting insights into the workings of a newsroom. High stress, change being the constant. I also got name-cards and referrals to a few folks working at the departments. Resumes were sent.

Still waiting for answers from the history consultancy company.

Now, to sip tea and hopefully to write.

And it's Beltane! How are you celebrating?

Saturday is almost gone here. Tired, drained, trying to be cat-herder (for my two girls). Swirling thoughts in head.

Duan Wu is round the corner. I am inspired to write a short story. Flash fiction probably, if my body permits me.

I might end up removing the urban-fantasy-set-in-Singapore. Sorry folks. :(

Now for some hot tea, some editing and then a comfy bed. No wait, I need to print the documents out first for the interview on Monday - they want to see my research papers. Hope they like Joan of Arc and medieval history.